tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24213885082507855472024-03-14T02:00:18.943-05:00Saddle Up ChemosabeHey remember that time when cancer was all like, "What up, wanna hang out?" and I was like, "Sorry man, I got plans." but then cancer didn't listen and followed me around for 6 or 7 months anyways? Then I punched him in the throat and he went away.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-56291582961407485012012-10-22T12:24:00.002-05:002012-10-22T12:24:55.301-05:00A Little Pondering This Morning<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know I haven't posted much over the last year or so, which I knew would happen once I had readjusted to the real world and no longer had to spend my days being pumped full of poison, making fun of stuff that I shouldn't to keep my mind off of it. Truth is, as I start looking back at the last 9 months or so, I haven't readjusted as I'd hoped I would. In March, after my first CT scan came back negative (this would have been the first one after surgery), the world was my oyster. I had all sorts of plans to go out and conquer it, change it, make it my bitch, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What most people never realize, and I didn't for awhile (still slowly realizing it now), is that beneath all of the abrupt changes that beating cancer throws your way, you're still the person you were before. The person I was before took everything for granted and mostly managed to carve out an existence instead of really living for anything in particular. Post cancer, I've seen myself slowly slip back into that of thinking and living. Turns out that despite all of this, old habits die hard, and it takes a lot of work to change your mindset. This is work I've failed to do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Cut to this morning when I get a forwarded email from Susan. A coworker of hers also had cancer roughly a year before I was diagnosed. His was a type of lymphoma, which is far scarier than anything I went through. He'd just had his quarterly CT scan and they called to tell him that there was a "vague 6mm low attenuation lesion" that had shown up on his last scan. What he wrote about next, really hit home. The waiting after a CT scan is always unnerving beyond belief. Having heard the worst possible news already, your mind immediately prepares itself to hear the same type of news again. This happens every time, and I'm convinced that there is no other option my brain knows to choose when dealing with this. I guess Suz's coworker has the same brain pattern because he talked about how down in the dumps you get immediately and you spend a few hours just feeling sorry for yourself or your loved ones (let's face it, my cancer was probably harder on Susan than it ever was on me; something which always amazes me about her and at the same time makes me feel like a bit of a wimp.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anyways, then he started talking about how he realized that his family was travelling to Hawaii in 3 months and that he never really did anything or enough of anything with them. Granted, Susan and I did manage to spend a great week in Florida recently, and we've done Asheville for our anniversary, but since I have went back to waiting tables, we don't have the luxury of taking weekends away. We also don't see each other that much, which I hate, but at this point I had just kind of assumed a stance of: "Its temporary, and it is what it is...for now." After reading that email this morning, I've spent some time thinking about what I need to do better, how much do I need to change (A LOT...), and I spent the longest time wondering why I had regressed into just sort of coasting through what was going on in my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, here's my advice, although it isn't totally mine because someone else had to write an email that I had to read and then think about before offering my thoughts. At some point today, take 30 minutes and think about the one thing you really want to do, the one place you really want to go next, or someone who's really made your life better. After you've figured that out, go make it happen. If its a place, start putting money back, schedule the time off from work and go do it. If its something of the material world, do the same as above, and then go buy it. Last and most importantly, if it's a person or group of people who make a significant difference in your life, figure out a way to make the same difference in theirs. There is no worse feeling than realizing how much you take something for granted. I realized that me not dying from cancer is something I took for granted for the last 9 months. I am an idiot. Don't be an idiot.</span>Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-25159684559609285042012-09-19T10:24:00.001-05:002012-09-19T10:24:12.665-05:00Suck it cancer <div><p>9 month check up. Still no cancer. Look for a longer post tonight.</p>
</div>Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-86609015212031324292012-07-24T13:30:00.000-05:002012-07-24T13:30:22.823-05:00Repent or....Or What?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sooooo, yeah, this is what the new project chose as this week's topic. I know it might be pretty ballsy to talk about religion as it is one of those things that I try not to do (obviously, I'm still going to here..). I usually believe that your beliefs are a very personal thing and you shouldn't have to explain yourself or them to anyone. religion has been a tough area for me as of late because talking or writing about it forces me to reconcile what I learned in my youth with what I see happening in the present. I'm sure like me, many of you who were raised in the South have the same issues: Why do I believe what I do? Do I still really believe it? Is it ok for me to pick and choose what aspects of it I agree with?<br />
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The last question is where I have been for awhile now. There is no part of the above picture that I agree with. I find it silly to subscribe to what is basically fear mongering in order to make someone buy into what you're selling as religion. I also feel like it is tough to reconcile my small town upbringing with a larger world view that I've developed since moving away from there. Unfortunately, I still notice that there is a contingent of America who lives in a sort of bubble that allows and to some extent promotes group-think that propagates hatred toward others for their "lifestyles". Sure, if you take the billboard at face value, you can assume that drunkards, fornicators, adulterers, philanderers are able to repent from their evil ways, but that assumes that they see something wrong with what they're doing. Some may, most won't at that is where the disconnect happens. Most people assume that anyone gives a flying f*&k what anyone thinks about how they live their lives and thusly billboards like this are quickly pushed aside to exist in the realm of crazy people who pay money to erect billboards where there's a picture of Jesus (Sidenote: I seriously doubt this is what Jesus actually looked like. They've also elected a picture where he seems to either a) be experiencing some sort of severe pain or b) severe pleasure. (I am aware that it is wrong to make fun or harbor the idea that this looks like Jesus whilst in the throws of passion, but I can't be the only one who had this thought upon seeing this for the first time...))<br />
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My main issue is that what I believe and know to be true cannot be reconciled with anything on this billboard. Especially the homosexual comment. Anyone who has a friend or family member that is gay can attest to the same feeling. If you grow up in a small town where everyone knows everyone and can be assured that there are no people who are gay and any who are weren't actually born that way, but instead opted to live a "lifestyle". This makes no sense to me, but alas we have folks in our country that do. I also don't know that we should still use the word swindler, but given the recent happenings on Wall Street, that may actually still be an appropriate term for some people.<br />
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Since, I can't go on without pointing out the obvious flaws in this billboard, and I'm already tired of ranting about how silly most of this seems in a world view, here are the 5 things that I find weird about this image:<br />
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1. Philandering, adultering, and fornicating seems repetitive. In fact, upon double checking the definitions of each. Philandering and Adultering are the exact same thing. So, yeah we get it, you don't want people putting their genitalia near other's genitalia unless they're married. I can get on board with this as too many stupid people are reproducing at an alarming rate as it is, but ease up a bit. The fact that you used 2 words that mean the same thing already tells me you have no REAL understanding of the words you just paid money to put on a large billboard. They might have been better served to put one up saying "I'm ignorant and Stupid"... That's the conclusion we've likely drawn anyways...<br />
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2. Is that an ellipsis at the end of that Bible quote? So we can assume that this was taken out of the context of a larger passage? How does someone that has never really known Christianity not supposed to think that the next sentence isn't something like, "you also shouldn't call people mean names like homosexuals or drunkards..."<br />
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3. You know when you had people teaching you things when you were little and then when you were older, you realize that they may not have been that smart? This is that. 5 year old me would accept what the said as absolute truth having no basis for a counter-argument. 31 year old me knows that a good portion of the people who agree 100% with this billboard also think that Nickelback is a quality rock band who makes great music. They've also never actually read the majority of the book that they use to tell people they're living their life wrong.<br />
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4. The quote from the Bible uses the word homosexuals. Pretty sure that the apostles weren't throwing that word around 2000 years ago. This is one of my pet peeves as of late with religion. Old words are clung to (you know, because I've used the word philanderer more in this post than in my entire adult life) and then some newer words are just thrown in for good measure. Which means its okay to quote something in any way you see fit as long as your end goal of scaring people into living their lives the way you think they should is achieved.<br />
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5. Lastly, I assume the intelligence of an individual who would spend money on erecting a sign like this cannot be that great. I understand that they likely feel they are just passing on the truth as they know it to be, but would also venture that an actual debate of whats right and wrong would last roughly as long as it's taken me to write this post about it. In fact, a part of me is sad that I can't have said debate, but the bigger part of me is glad to know that this billboard likely rests in a small part of the country where few will have to see it and think that there are those out there who strive to rid the world of its problems by any means necessary. Apparently, what was necessary here was to call people names, post a weird (and likely incorrect picture) of Jesus, and to let you know that you are wrong...<br />
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If you wish to see the other responses to this week's topic feel free to head on over to the following blogs and see what we have to say...or don't. As always, I don't necessarily give a crap about someone reading this, but I kind of do....<br />
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<a href="http://www.iamnotjenniferlopez.com/">www.iamnotjenniferlopez.com</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.hertempest.com/">www.hertempest.com</a><br />
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<br />Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-45806850342811291212012-07-24T12:02:00.001-05:002012-07-24T12:07:00.948-05:00New ProjectSo as you guys know, or maybe don't...since remission I've been slow to post at the rate I used to. Part of that is the fact that my time is no longer spent being pumped full of poison for hours at a time and the other part is that I'm busy and generally find I have less to talk about. In some ways, I've felt that since then, I really needed to get back into writing, but generally found nothing interesting to wrote about.<br />
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All that has changed. A few friends were talking about starting their own blogs and each of them writing about the same idea each week. They asked me to join, and of course I said yes, bc I really, really need something to spark my desire to write with material. Plus, this way it will likely take m out of my comfort zone by me not choosing the topic all of the time. I'm pretty excited about this and you should see the first post here in the next little bit. Since some of you have always said that you enjoy my posts and want me to write more, I expect you to read it and possibly even spark a debate about the topic (whatever it may be).Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-63751267021690454432012-07-20T14:50:00.000-05:002012-07-20T14:50:06.260-05:00The Tin Man Has No HeartGiven the events at the theater in Colorado last night and the ensuing outrage by basically everyone, I've decided that I'd revive this blog as a way to give you my perspective on the sad state of our world. A good friend of mine posted something on Facebook about seeing everything from a sociological perspective that basically read:<br />
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"...<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">To me, it seems our society puts a decreasing amount of value on human life--not just killings, but even in some of our laws, life isn't always the priority. If you buy that, in your opinion, what are the factors that you see contributing to this deteriorating respect for life?"</span></blockquote>
I posted a couple of replies and then realized that I'd been looking at a few different things going on over the last month and succeeded in merely observing them without doing anything about it.<br />
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In case you've managed to completely miss the news since last night. A PhD candidate at the Univ. of Colorado walked into a midnight premier of The Dark Knight Rises and preceded to throw smoke bombs and shoot up the place killing 12 people and injuring many (some reports I've read say as many as 70 people.) He also managed to booby-trap his apartment with explosives. We all immediately rush to understand the brain and issues therein that would cause a person to do something so heinous instead of focusing on what our world does to cause such an act and ultimately (since we run our world) what we did to cause these scenarios.<br />
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I've heard people immediately throw up the gun control, violence on tv and in video games, and the ever present argument that we as a nation have no morals. The first two, I at least understand the vein of their arguments. They feel that access to guns and or being desensitized to violence plays a direct corollary to the probability that a crazy person will shoot up a theater. I'm sure there's a small percentage of truth there. I'm also sure that the fact that the extreme majority of people who don't do these things with the same access/exposure should tell us that it isn't a lack of regulations, morality, or proper upbringing that ultimately causes these things. Sometimes, you buy things and they are instantly defective. Like, out of the box, defective. Sometimes, you buy them, they work fine, but eventually start acting screwy and mess up. And sometimes they explode in your hands. This guy was sadly one of the latter. A defective model, that likely nothing could have changed or repaired. Yet, instead of looking at that in context and choosing to look at what we could change within ourselves, we immediately blame x, y, or z for what happened. We also tend to expect these institutions to act in human-like ways even though they aren't designed to do so, and act outraged when they don't. As I posted in the comments section on the above Facebook post:<br />
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<span style="background-color: #edeff4; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">I don't blame corporations for putting a figure on human life (especially insurance companies, since their profitability lies in whether someone lives or dies), because they are a business. The end result should be to make x amount of money </span></span></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">for selling goods and or services. Corporations do not have hearts, feelings, morals, or any of the things we expect them to have. Yet, we are appalled when they behave in the ways that they are designed to behave. It boils down to what I said earlier about the "me" first attitude. Instead of looking at the problem from an internal perspective, we immediately point the finger at other causes i.e. corporations, lack of regulations, too many regulations, etc. They aren't the problem. Humans are the problem. And since we only keep reproducing at higher rates, it would serve all of us well, to be introspective about it and look at what we can change to reroute the world's course instead of hoping that a corporation or some other large entity will channel his inner Tin Man and visit the Wizard to get a heart...</span></blockquote>
The end result is we spend more time freeing ourselves of any responsibility for our part in society's decline than we do trying to make some sort of change for the better. It's easier to make yourself believe that others are to blame than to work for the sense of gratitude that comes with being part of the solution (however small said contribution may be...)<br />
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One case in point, give that we are in an election year, is that I've come to realize that a 2 party system is inherently flawed and set out to base my opinions on what should be done both fiscally and humanitarianly (pretty sure that's a word...) within the structure of our government. In roughly 85% of the major debates, I side with the Libertarian viewpoint. Less government, less regulation, and more freedom for people to live their lives the way that they choose. Naturally, one would expect that I would change my voter registration to reflect the party my ideals line up with, right? Nope, I'm still registered as a republican despite the fact that I think Romney is quite possibly a cyborg or at the very least has big business' hand stuck up his rear and pulling the strings. So, as I type about how we don't elect to be part of the solution, I realize that I can't even get on the Internet and switch allegiances to a party that more closely represents my views. I'm sure it would take like 10 minutes to do...<br />
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In the end, we will always continue to send blame towards that which we believe to be evil (evil sometimes being the opposing viewpoint from ours. and by sometimes I mean 95%) instead of just electing to make a change for the better. So amidst all of this media outcry for radical change to combat crazy people, who despite said change will still continue to be crazy as they have for decades (See: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nero" target="_blank">Nero</a>) and we will continue to try and fix the defective instead of engineering a better operating model.<br />
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So, in the next week when you start to give us your opinion on the horrific causes of tragedies like this one in Colorado. Maybe instead you should stop, spend that 5 minutes thinking about some small positive change you could make that day, and then go out and do it. We'll all benefit from this more than we will from another opinion that lays the blame in another area, which is basically any area where we don't reside.<br />
Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-6379080295620308662012-04-01T20:20:00.000-05:002012-04-01T20:20:35.720-05:00Scan Update/ACMA Awards Live BlogAs you may remember, one our favorite past-times is to watch country music awards shows and make fun of them. Tonight is the ACMA awards in Las Vegas. This should be good and by good, I mean bad...<br />
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7:12 - We start with some guy singing about saving water by drinking beer. While I cannot find a hole in his argument, it doesn't seem like a great idea for a song.<br />
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7:14 - First Reba siting of the night. I would enjoy a lump sum payment in the amount of 22% of her plastic surgery bill. I imagine that's enough for a small house, car, and various other accouterments we would possibly want.<br />
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7:21 - They just informed us that Toby Keith will be performing Red Solo Cup. I feel the need to inform them that song will likely induce a need to vomit and bleed from the ears on my part.<br />
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7:31 - Temporarily changed the channel only to turn it back and have Susan audibly cringe when Keith Urban tried to strangle a cat onstage, then it turned out that he was just attempting to sing...<br />
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7:33 - They're asking people to tweet their thoughts about the awards. Which may end up worse than when ESPN asks sports fans to tweet on the show.<br />
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7:35 - Eli Young Band just won an award. Despite the fact that I hate seeing they've gone mainstream country, I was impressed that Mike Eli made a successful attempt at eating an entire buffet in Vegas somewhere.<br />
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7:40 - Is there a statute somewhere that requires all country songs to rhyme every line in a song?<br />
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7:50 - Some kid just came on the awards show. Susan called him the country version of Justin Bieber. She nailed it before I could even get the words out. This is why we do this.<br />
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7:52 - Now some other band is playing some song and a children's choir is singing in the back. It keeps referencing world hunger and ending it. I bet they're pissed at Mike Eli.<br />
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7:53 - Suz just informed me that this band is "Little Big Town", I've renamed them to "Next time you think a John Lennon song mixed with anything is a good idea...just don't."<br />
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Soooo. we almost made<br />
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<br />Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-86594088059917774522012-03-01T17:21:00.002-06:002012-03-01T17:21:20.550-06:00Our Own Piece of HistoryOn the 4th weekend of every month here in Nashville, they have this huge flea market at the state fair grounds. We went last weekend with some friends and tried our best not to buy any furniture (a known weakness), yet once again we managed to fail at our goal. Of course for $28, we couldn't really pass this up.<br />
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What is it? Well, Susan gets all the credit for finding this gem as I had walked past it a good 5 times without paying any attention. It's a 1966 Magnavox console stereo. That may not mean much to most of you, but the story that goes along with it was as meaningful as anything I had ever purchased. There was an old lady selling this and what looked like a bunch of other stuff from her house and this was priced at $55. She told Susan that she was selling it for $28 (1/2 off) because the record player portion didn't work and she just needed to get rid of it.<br />
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One caveat that I've forgotten to explain up to this point is why this was such a cool purchase to us. Vinyl has been making a huge resurgence over the last 4 or 5 years and Suz and I have been buying a lot of it from time to time. We don't buy just anything, it has to be an album or artist that we really like (Susan has a soft spot for Billy Joel records while I've been trying to grab the complete collections of Zeppelin, The Stones & The Beatles.) I don't appreciate vinyl in a smug hipster sort of way. Our record player is just a plain model that gets the job done, not some crazy expensive job that costs as much as my first car.<br />
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So basically, we were going to buy this stereo regardless of its condition electronically just because it looked so cool. Then the lady selling it started talking about it when I asked a few questions about its story. This lady was in her early 70s and looked like your typical grandma (I had meant to grab a picture of her with the stereo, but completely forgot to do that..) complete with denim dress shirt monogrammed with a Dr. Seuss "Cat in the Hat" logo. I should have known that at this point, anyone who would sport that shirt had to be pretty damn cool. Turns out she was more than that. As she started reminiscing about the stereo, you could sense the joy those memories brought back to her. She said that she still remembered the day it was delivered and that she couldn't have been happier if it was a brand new corvette. I imagined that she was listening to the latest Patsy Cline records or whatever else was popular for country music in Nashville in the mid to late 1960s. Turns out I was wrong. She said that she owned every record of every band that she had seen live when they came through Nashville or a nearby city (Atlanta would be my best guess.) The Beatles, Rolling Stones, you name it, she had seen them live. I especially enjoyed her story of being so close up front for The Rolling Stones that she could have touched Mic Jagger's leg. She even said, "He was just a kid then!" as if to admit that there was a time long, long ago when the years were stripped away and she could remember herself and Mic in their youth. She told us about her son growing up listening to all their classic rock albums on the stereo and I thought about the fact that somewhere there's a guy who thinks about this stereo every time he hears "Beast of Burden" or "Paperback Writer". I thought about the record player we had growing up and how my sister, bless her heart, would play Men at Work and a Sawyer Brown record on repeat for hours.<br />
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This is the same girl who rented Pee Wee's Big Adventure every week at the video store. When I say every week, I mean EVERY WEEK!!! It got to a point that I'd beg my parents to make her get something else because I knew I'd have to sit through it again. That led to her switching to renting <a href="http://youtu.be/Ssz3ZsRJOrE">Hugga Bunch</a> every week. It was horrible. Every time the <b>(SPOILER ALERT)</b> grandma got ready to pass on my sister would burst into tears.<br />
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You can see how this stereo brings back memories even for me and we could tell that the lady really enjoyed the fact that it was going to a good home (as she kept saying that) and that we would get some use out of it. As I type this, I've got the Foo Fighters blasting through it and it sounds awesome. They truly don't make things like they used to. As I was getting ready to go get a vehicle to load it up (btw, thanks to out friends Sara and Burhan for helping us get it home) she gave us this note to get us into the grounds. I like that she wrote a nice little note on the back.<br />
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I'm still not sure what my point is for sharing all of this with you guys, other than I thought it was pretty cool that we bought a stereo from a lady that had seen the Stones live and that since 1966, this thing has sat in two living rooms, hers and ours. I guess more than anything it made me appreciate older folks. Its easy to forget that once upon a time they were young just like us and that they were around when all of these bands became famous (in our generations defense, we got to welcome Nickelback and Creed into the music world. Take that Baby Boomers...)<br />
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It's something that I know Suz and I will cherish, plus despite its age (46 years!) it has an aux input, so I like the idea of hooking an mp3 player up to it. Most of all it has character and charm, something that our world could use a bit more of.<br />
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<span id="goog_1697801891"></span><span id="goog_1697801892"></span></div>Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-57686106194039321702012-02-28T09:31:00.000-06:002012-02-28T09:31:24.790-06:00Incredible Hulk level pissed! This is already turning out to be a bad day, but as I walked from class to class today, I've been passively listening to people talk. This has almost instantly sent me over the edge. Between a girl voicing her opinion as to why she would vote for Gingrich as a republican candidate & my communications professor scribbling an insane amount of criticism of a speech outline without a) going over exactly what her expectations were in class or b) being able to grade every one's stuff objectively; I am at my capacity for people's shit today. Where to start?<br />
Well, right now I'm sitting outside my next class waiting for time to start and the professor in the classroom next to it has her door open and is lecturing on social media. I have no clue what type of class this is, but its in the Business building so I can assume two things: 1) It is some type of business class. 2) She has no idea that her students likely know 10 times more about Social media than she does. She has just explained Twitter and Pinterest back to back in the absolutely most basic terms possible. She also stated that Twitter was a very useful tool for most people to give you very important information. Has she ever read a Twitter feed? I'm sure there may be some deep, dark, nerd circle out there, where people are tweeting about global economic policy or some other stuff that no one on Twitter really cares about. When I think of Twitter, I think of journalism and the ability to send the headlines of upcoming stories out before they are released. The more well-known area of Twitter would be where people follow Kardashians and other reality TV stars and attempt to interact with them and get a retweet because they live a life where a celebrity hitting a button or two to reply to their message makes the year for them. That and they wanna know the secret to their success. (Hint: it was banging the singer Brandi's unfamous brother on camera. I have a complete other post I want to write on the state of our nation where this allows you to make $20 million for a 72 day sham of a marriage (Also, we accept this as some type of acceptable behavior, but freak the fuck out because two men or two women want to marry each other?))<br />
I digress. The second instance of anger came as I received an outline back, which was tore to shreds on what I missed or did incorrectly. There were many comments, but the professor gave me no reasoning as to how she takes points off for each infraction. She basically writes a bunch of chicken scratch on your work, gives you a grade, and when you compare it with others in the class, there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why she gave the grade she did. I cannot explain how pissed I was (and still am) this morning when i got my work back. I understand that it is normal for certain professors to be more strict than others and that certain types of classes are routinely tougher. This is a public speaking class. Every communications class I've ever known about has been one of the easier classes where information and material are concerned. Chemistry or Physics it is not. That being said, I can understand someone setting the bar higher than expected. What I cannot understand, nor accept is for a professor to grade two papers or pieces of work with different grades and similar critiques. It may not be completely tangible like grading a math test, but I HATE (and I cannot stress this word enough) when someone cannot justify their reasoning as to why you were given the response you received. The professor could provide a rough rubric of how you will be evaluated, they just chose not to. Instead, the class is spent covering power point slides that could easily be consumed outside of class in less time and more time devoted to covering, giving examples of, or basically teaching the technique being graded. I didn't decide to incur $3,000 in debt this semester so that I could have a professor show me PowerPoint slides that have little effect on what my money is going towards...a degree.<br />
The final straw this morning was a spritely young coed, who as I walked out with my 2nd coffee this morning, felt compelled to voice her political opinions to everyone within a 20 foot radius. It's understood that they are in fact opinions and thusly don't require extensive knowledge of the concepts or ideas described therein. I also, don't have expectations any longer when it comes to anyone under the age of 25 being able to voice their opinions based on factual evidence, sound reasoning, or life experience. They're young and it makes sense that some of those requirements would be difficult to come by. All I ask is that if you are speaking loudly about someone who could potentially be the leader of the free world, you don't use terms like, "I think Gingrich would get my vote because of like...you know...he totally has..." If you can't fully express what you want to say without sounding like a Valley girl, please by all means, take some extra time, compose yourself, and contemplate your feelings on the subject. Also, don't vote for Gingrich. That's just silly...<br />
Yes, I realize the irony in this upcoming statement (hey, you guys all click on a link because you care what I have to say), but far too often we assume that others give a damn what we think. We assume that our opinion or viewpoint is the benchmark by which all others should be considered. I'm far too tired to understand where stupid ideas come from or where the urge to speak without thinking about what you're saying comes from. Then again, maybe that's why I'm tired, I've been worn down against the dull grindstone that is stupidity and ego-centrism...Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-28472688918155840462012-02-12T19:41:00.009-06:002012-02-12T22:38:13.215-06:00Live Blog of the Grammy'sSo, I've been watching the Grammy's pre-show and I decided to do a live blog of it for awhile. Doubt I'll do the entire thing, but anyways... I'll post a quick recap for what Ive watched up until this point.<br /><br /><ul><li> Nicki Minaj must intend on surviving financially despite any Catholic never buying her records again</li><li>I'm more and more saddened by the effect reality tv has had on the world. I don't know that it is the only thing that I can pinpoint, but it does make me wonder if everyone competed for attention like this before it came along. Nothing would make me happier than GaGa and Minaj calling a truce. Especially since some Russian wore machine guns on her right arm. I'll just let that last sentence sink in for a minute.</li><li>I don't understand it. Susan loves to watch E!'s coverage of the red carpet. I feel like after an hour of it, that they almost exclusively talked to people who either had a show on their network or asked questions to turn it that way. People say that Seacrest is the next Dick Clark. Dick Clark gave us glorious things like $25,000 Pyramid and American Bandstand. Seacrest gets rich off things like the Kardashians. Remember that. They're his fault...<br /></li></ul><br />Here we go:<br /><br />7:47 - Foo Fighters = Awesome. The fact that a fan in the audience was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head and an affliction button up shirt appreciates the same music, makes me question the majority of my decisions.<br /><br />8:00 - Coldplay was pitchy. And it looked like someone covered Chris Martin's piano in a "technicolor money-shot"<br /><br />8:09 - The Chipotle commercial has me confused with Willie Nelson singing Coldplay's "The Scientist". It still doesn't make me want to eat Chipotle, but it was definitely memorable.<br /><br />8:15 - Gotta love the Foo Fighters getting all of this recognition.<br /><br />8:16 - Beach Boys being done by Maroon 5 & Foster the People seemed like they managed to almost put me to sleep. I'm also wondering if Brian Wilson will want go back into his bedroom and do cocaine for another 2 years after seeing what "artists" like Minaj and GaGa have done with music.<br /><br />8:32 - Stevie Wonder really needs to let go of the hair. It's gone completely on top. I don't understand why he can't see that...<br /><br />8:34 - No Sir McCartney, no one wants to hear you jazz standard rendition. Play Yesterday, Hey Jude, or basically anything else besides what you're doing now.<br /><br />8:38 - I'm glad that chris Brown thanked everyone except Rihanna for not pressing charges...<br /><br />8:48 - Taylor Swift.... Ugh. For those of you who don't know her backstory, the way I have heard it is this: She's from a rich suburb of Nashville, her dad paid for everything and even bought a bunch of her singles on iTunes when she first released so that it would end up being on the top buys list. She was well-liked in high school. Basically, at no point has anyone likely been mean to her in her life. If she and Chad Kroeger from Nickelback had a child, it would undoubted be able to write such shitty pop songs that it would bring about an apocalyptic event like<a href="http://youtu.be/4JVkonHpxKk"> this</a>.<br /><br />8:59 - Lady Antebellum kills me. Just blah.<br /><br />9:05 - They just introduced Gwyneth Paltrow as the only Oscar winner to perform with Cee Lo at last year's Grammys. That wins my award for most stunningly specific introduction tidbit.<br /><br />9:14 - Adele is 23. I have this weird feeling that she's great enough that we'll lose her to the club of 27. (For those that don't know, thats the club of stars that all died at 27. Cobain, Hendrix, Joplin, etc.)<br /><br />9:19 - Its sad that Glenn Campbell has Alzheimer's and is stopping touring, but every time they show him I can't help, but to think of <a href="http://www.absolutenow.com/mugshots/images/CampbellGlen.jpg">this</a><br /><br />9:32 - Tony Bennett looks like he wants to give Carrie Underwood the best 10-20 seconds oh her life.<br /><br />9:34 - Bon Iver is pronounced like Eye ver. Didn't realize it was that bad. Also, his acceptance speech confirmed exactly why the hipsters love him so...<br /><br />9:51 - I just want Questlove to be by friend.<br /><br />9:56 - There is a weird bit of irony that Dave Grohl was sandwiched between two electronic artists and Chris Brown after his rant on the acceptance speech.<br /><br />10:00 - That guy had a cool mouse helmet. I have no idea why he wears it, but it was shiny.<br /><br />10:05 - Nicki Minaj...just....I don't know how I'm supposed to... Geez. What the fuck was that?<br /><br />Thats it. I cant comprehend anything else. My brain just felt like someone hit it with a taser. Nicki Minaj has ruined my ability to be interested in music. She also managed to alienate anyone with even a slight amount of respect for the Christian religion.<br /><a href="http://www.absolutenow.com/mugshots/images/CampbellGlen.jpg"></a>Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-58331721747497848002012-02-07T20:42:00.006-06:002012-02-07T21:50:51.134-06:00Seriously guys is this the Truman Show?After seeing the Truman Show, I've always thought that it truly was an interesting concept. What if your life was one big lie (or not necessarily a lie, but you know...whatever...you get my point). Ok, so you probably didn't get my point, but it is basically this. Does anyone else feel like there is a good portion of their life that could be another "Candid Camera" episode?<br /><br />As a way of proving this theory, I've started recounting the things that I've witnessed in the last year or so. Since no one has emailed me at <a href="chemosabe23@gmail.com">chemosabe23 at gmail dot com</a> (sorry had to write it out because while Spam may be a delicious canned meat to some, I prefer not to deal with it) with funny videos or links for me to look at and then make fun of, I've just decided that for the time being, I'll recount something each week or so that you all can then let me know whether its insane to think that it is weird that shit keeps happening when I'm around.<br /><br />So if we are facebook friends (you. are. welcome. btw.) you likely noticed my post earlier about the blind girl. Whether you did or didn't, I'll gladly recount this story so that you all may feel the awkwardness that I felt when this happened. This semester I have a History class at 6:20am. Yes, I realize how stupid that sentence is. To be honest, I don't mind it that much because it enables you to have a good portion of your day going before anyone gets to campus. Anyways, this morning we had our first exam and thus, I was finished at roughly 7am and had an hour before my next class. The student center was on the way to my next class, and I knew that no normal (read: annoying) college student would be around, so I thought it was a good way to kill an hour, plus chik-fil-a is there, and unless you're a communist, who doesn't enjoy a good chicken biscuit? The answer is Kim Jong Il. He doesn't enjoy a chicken biscuit because he's dead. He's also a communist. Really not sure which reason supersedes the other on why he doesn't like chicken biscuits.<br /><br />I'm sitting in the booth enjoying the first chicken biscuit that was sold on MTSU's campus this morning (yes, I'm proud) and I see this girl coming towards me. I immediately note some distinct differences. A) She is walking with a huge cane/walking stick... which leads me to B) She is blind.<br /><br />Let me stop here to let you grasp the fact, that at no point do I intend to poke fun at her condition, or the daily trials that she likely deals with. The following is merely an observation on what else I noticed about her and the events thereafter. No more. No less.<br /><br />Once she gets closer, I notice that she has a giant eyebrow ring above her right eye. Call me an asshole, but if you aren't magically still living in any year before 2005, then you have no business with a piercing in your eyebrow. Regardless of anything else, you just shouldn't do it. Compound the fact that, I assume she has never seen what this thing looks like and you can understand how I thought this was awkward. It was more awkward because I felt bad for judging her even though it was a trivial brow accoutrement. I was fixated on developing any back story that seemed remotely feasible to explain why a blind girl would pierce her eyebrow. I had nothing. Keep in mind that as I'm distracted by her life's story, she is walking through the middle of the student center sweeping her cane in a radius 3 times as wide as any that I've ever seen. I say that because, we've all seen blind people use their canes/walking sticks (I'm not really sure what they're called) with a sweeping motion in front of them. It normally seems that its a fairly short sweep in front of them, but this lady was ensuring that no obstacle existed within 6 feet on either side of her. Again, I am in no way trying to make fun of her. I'm merely recounting the events that I witnessed in hopes that you guys will read them and agree that they are weird as shit.<br /><br />So...as I sit there, scenarios blazing through my mind. It happens. In the most perfect or perfect timings. As her walking stick sweeps far left, it fails to locate the large trash can on her right. By now, I assume she is late for class, because she is walking at a feverish pace. BAM!!!! She careens off of the trash can. I didn't have a radar gun, but I would have clocked her at roughly 6-7mph. That's straight up moving for walking! Had this been normal class time, many, many people would have seen this and responded appropriately or inappropriately (most likely inappropriately). Despite what you'd think, my reaction was that of shock. "No way that just happened."<br /><br />She was unfazed. She kept about her day. I'm sure its something to be expected. I sat there, half chuckling at the absurdity of it all and half ashamed that I was the only there to witness it and then have no one to gauge my reaction off of. That's what I mean when I make the "Truman Show" comparisons. This was truly one of those moments where I couldn't believe what was going on. 15 minutes later, I couldn't believe that no one jumped out laughing and telling me it was a joke.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-66129354795695558812012-01-31T09:19:00.011-06:002012-01-31T13:57:28.612-06:00It's up to us Millennials...Given that it is an election year, it seems that politicians generate a good amount of panic about our current situation. It doesn't matter how good, bad, or otherwise the actual standing of the country is, they would have you believe that it appears to be something like <a href="http://youtu.be/zDAmPIq29ro">this</a>.<br />The truth is that if you are in my generation (those of us who fall at the end of Gen X, but not quite with what ever these new kids are, then you're a millennial) then you are old enough to realize that the baby boomers, in addition to being the "greatest generation" have also been the most selfish. We're headed straight towards a major meltdown. Before this morning, I had hope that either my generation or the newer generation would have someone who could initiate the massive change that we need to take place in this country.<br /> Looks like it is all up to our generation because the new kids are clueless, pretty self-involved, and generally think that even the most menial accomplishments should be met with great fanfare and applause. How do I know this? Well, as many of you may know, I decided to go back to school to get my English education degree, so that I could then teach high school English. feel free to provide comments below telling me how idiotic I am. I am aware. Taking a speech class was something anyone who's been to college knows about. I'm lucky enough that my first one didn't transfer, so I get double the exposure. I'm one of 4 people in 27 who are older. You can imagine that it's quite odd to have to deal with college kids a decade younger than you. Today, it became even more apparent, just how different of a life they've experienced.<br /> The first order of this class is to give an introductory speech about yourself to the class. 3 minutes. That's it. For that very reason, I chose to omit my story about cancer, plus I didn't wanna bring the room down at 8am on a Tuesday morning. Also, I enjoy talking about it with friends who have questions or want to know how everything is going, but I haven't found a way to convey the message to complete strangers yet. Plus, I didn't want to chance my grade with possibly getting emotional about it. maybe that is what comes with being a bit older, I don't allow you to know everything about me (I do realize the slight irony in writing that sentence on a blog about my life...) unless it seems like its improves us all. What I couldn't figure out was the fact that most of these young kids chose the most horrific stories to recount. I can appreciate them taking the courage to do so, but at the same time, if you can't get through a speech about your life without crying, maybe you're getting a bit too personal. Luckily, I went first, so I didn't have to follow the three speeches after me. <br /> Here they are in exact order. the first girl after me broke down when talking about her mother and growing up in a single parent household. We're talking breaking down to a point where there was a good 20 seconds of that lovely awkward silence you get when no one knows how to react and it would also be impolite to do so. I felt really bad for her, as she had just talked about how good she was at public speaking in the hallway before class. The next girl got up and talked about her young sister having Leukemia (and kicking its ass) and a friend dying of a tumor found in his arm during high school. I felt really bad about this stuff, but also found it awkward. Its really tough being an engaged listener in a class of people you don't know and I found myself dreading what some of these kids would say next. The next guy got up and went through the entirety of his football career up until last year. No seriously, year by year from ages 12-19. After that we had a girl who talked about volunteering (which is great) but she came across as needing everyone's approval that she was a good person because she volunteered. Or perhaps she wanted us to know that she was a good person and it was because of her charity. Either way, it just felt odd. Next was a girl who had her parents split up and then BOTH go through drug abuse issues. Luckily, her mother had been The class ended with a girl who talked about her brother that had cerebral palsy. He died when she was 5 and that made her want to work with kids who had special needs. Again, it was truly sad, but it left people looking around the room to see if anyone else had the proper reaction to this girl crying in the middle of her speech.<br /> While it was all very odd, I don't mean to talk about these kids in a way of making fun of any of their situations. Each one was horrible in their own way (except for the volunteer humble bragger. she sucked) and I'm sure that each part of their respective lives that they talked about did have some bearing on shaping their lives. Where I get aggravated in this class, is that not one of these kids stood up there and gave you 3 minutes of who exactly they were. 75% of them told you some horrible story about themselves or their family, while the other quarter of them listed words or used the word princess repeatedly (it should also be noted that the girl who used the princess moniker for herself, did the entire speech in 3rd person. I imagine she is a giant Kardashian fan...) In the end, it is as if they have allowed these events make them the person they are, which is something I disagree with. Beating cancer did nothing to make me who I am. It's something that happened to me. Did it change my perspective? You bet! However, I don't know that it did anything other than make me aware of who exactly I was. Granted, I have the luxury of 10+ years on these kids, and all the growing up that involves, but I can't help but think that my generation did not ask for the admiration or empathy that these youngsters so desire. It was as if, each one of them wanted you, so badly, to know that life was hard for them.<br /> Generations are different. Inevitably, the time frame you grow up in causes you to behave in one way or the other and shapes who you are. Where I start to realize that seismic shift of the new generation towards selfishness is that most of these kids seem to want to be heard, they want to be affirmed, and they need you to know they're special. It made me hope that somewhere around this country there's a person who's 25-35 that has their shit together enough to make things different. I don't see the next generation doing it, and the boomers have had their run at it.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-18400132051574529672012-01-12T17:43:00.002-06:002012-01-12T18:01:52.371-06:00What do you guys think?So, I've been short on material (I've got a blog from the first day of class, but it alone doesn't have much in the way of really good subject matter), I've decided to start doing at least one of these a week. You guys will get to decide what I write on or about. Since my personal favorites have always been the live blogs, how about you guys send me clips of videos, tv shows, etc. (I won't limit it to just that, but just make sure its something I can really make fun of.) I'll watch them and then select a winner (or loser) and then write a live blog of my thoughts as I watch it. I think it can be really great. Just send the submittals to <span style="font-weight: bold;">chemosabe23@gmail.com</span> and I'll make sure to give you all a good laugh each week.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-29966932528241660812012-01-11T01:18:00.003-06:002012-01-11T14:40:08.409-06:00Observations<div><p>I said I was going to write more and honestly thought it would be Thursday when I got back on campus that I'd be presented with material, but alas there has been a guy tonight that needs to be documented. I'm fascinated with people and how they behave in public, especially those who tend to ignore most social norms...like this guy. I'm doing inventory tonight and he's gladly scanning price tags and contemplating his next D&D character (for those of you unfamiliar with nerd culture, that's the nerd equivalent of snappin' necks and cashin' checks...)<br /></p><p><img style="width: 285px; height: 245px;" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-10kkc3Acd0M/Tw05zSBU6OI/AAAAAAAAHAQ/2H26b8flmLg/1326266383667.png" /></p><p>1) yes those are pajamas. They said you could dress down. He doesn't understand the concept of moderation in all things, which leads me to...<br /></p><p>2) yes that is his cup. Im taking guesses in the comments section on its contents. My guess is mountain dew and 256 ounces.</p><p>3) there are two black ladies sitting beside him and they were discussing being too old to go to the club...</p><p>He keeps chiming in about his time at the club. There are 2 observations about this :</p><p>A) he's never been to a club<br />B) especially the kind of club they we're talking about. He's way too white and nerdy...</p><p><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/N9qYF9DZPdw" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br /></p><p>4) he just told another black gentleman that his blue pants looked like scrubs or nurses pants. They look nothing like anything other than dress pants.</p><p>5) He just talked about sneezing loud and said he learned it from his mother. Fucking a, sneezing is not a learned behavior.</p><p>6) At no point tonight has he went to the restroom. That cup is gigantic, this part alone must actually defy physics, biology, and at least 3 other natural sciences that I am unaware of...</p><p>7) He has now initiated a contest between himself and the guy wearing nurse's pants to see who can tell a story that the other guy can't reply with a similar yet more awesome story. (This is also known as Big Dicking someone...)<br /></p><br /></div>Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-22192972998131739862012-01-10T13:39:00.004-06:002012-01-10T14:07:34.826-06:00How quickly things change...Yet how often they stay the same...<br /><br />I spent the last half of 2011 beating cancer. I've spent the first 10 days of 2012 trying to beat old habits and ways of thinking. I think cancer was easier. The one thing that I'd said I had learned when all of this cancer business was over, was that I wouldn't take anything for granted or would I slip back into the laziness I'd developed over the last couple of years. Both of these have been challenging, as you start to get back into life you find out that it's tough to ease into it. It's the equivalent of merging back onto the expressway while trying to stay under 35mph. It just isn't gonna happen and in the process you'll either get hurt or screw something up. Likely both.<br /><br />My first goal (I use goal <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">bc</span> having a new year's resolution seems silly. It seems that you're agreeing to change something for that year or make it the focal point for that year, instead of change that is more lasting.) was to write much more frequently this year. Simple enough idea, but now that we're almost a month removed from cancer getting it's ass kicked, I find that I have much less to talk about, yet I only have the desire to ramble for 1,000+ words. Basically, I can't just send you guys a post that has 2 paragraphs and leave it alone. I have to make some grandiose point or have an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">epiphanal</span> moment to pass along, instead of just making fun of people I shouldn't. The catch 22 that is approaching is I'll be back in school starting Thursday. On one side, it will provide you with many stories about the youth of today being the rotten foundation with which we must build the future (seriously, I'm gonna be teaching them and if most are like the ones I've had classes with, then the outlook is bleak...) while the other side is that I'll have 3/4 of my 15 hours this semester in writing intensive classes. Sure, I may decide I want to write, but there's no telling what it might sound like after I've finished everything else I have to do.<br /><br />Once again, if you're unable to draw a conclusion from my rambling (surprised face) then I'll lay out what I've attempted to say. I had cancer. Now I don't. I was lazy and generally not enthused about much. I am now slightly enthused about some things. Then I read an update about <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">some one's</span> nephew having open heart surgery and how thankful they were for the doctors and nurses who literally saved his life. I've also read a friend's updates from high school about her daughter (who's a toddler) going through chemo. It brought back a lot of feelings, but most of all it caused me to stop for a second and reflect on the blessings I've received. Too often, we get caught up in the middle of surviving each day that we don't think about any alternatives. I have a loving wife, many friends, and at 30, I never thought I would be so grateful for my health. Don't take these things for granted, don't take each day or opportunity for granted. Be aware that something new may always be just over the horizon. Life is busy. Don't miss how beautiful the forest is because you were fixated on a single tree...Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-83822274943147284362011-12-20T21:04:00.002-06:002011-12-20T21:30:23.672-06:00WhoopsSo remember back at the beginning of this month when I said my goal was to post more frequently? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, I had my follow up today and it looks like its smooth sailing until March, when I'll go in for the 1st of my routine scans that I'll get every 3 months. I even get to get my <a href="http://www.bardaccess.com/port-powerport.php">Port-o-cath</a> out later this week. It's an outpatient process that is general anesthesia only, so I'll be fine. They've also managed to get my blood thinned out and it looks like I'll get to be stuck less often, so going into the Christmas Holiday, I couldn't be happier.<br /><br />Just wanted to take the moment to wish everyone a happy holiday season. Make sure you take the time to appreciate those close to you and those who play an important role in making your life what it is.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-26261568373122806592011-12-05T13:00:00.009-06:002011-12-05T15:13:49.815-06:00Times they are a changin'I've attempted to start writing more and have failed miserably as of late. Since I got out of the hospital, I've been trying to recover as well as get back into society in general. Let's face it, since July, I haven't done much outside of the house, in fact I've mostly just beat cancer and eaten horribly while watching A LOT of ESPN. I mean and unhealthy amount of ESPN. Since it's a new month and we've just passed Thanksgiving, I thought I'd let you all know what has changed, not changed, and where I plan on going on going with this thing from now as well as what I'm thankful for.<br /><br />First off, I can't possibly say enough how lucky I am. Susan and I were talking about it the other day, and it all just kind of hit me. Between June 30 and November 30 of the same year, I was diagnosed with and then beat cancer. That's 5 months!!!! Whether or not you are the religious type, it makes you very thankful to know that everyone who said a prayer for you, threw some positive energy your way, or sacrificed a goat (or possibly a chicken; to be honest, I have no idea what some of you pagans believe (I really mean pagan in the most endearing of ways!), but I know that any of you who did whatever it is you do helped in some way.) I'm especially thankful that I have had the support of my family throughout this as well. Even though there were many times that Susan probably needed support as much as I did, she has managed to not go crazy, which is unfathomable to me, given what she's had on her plate this year. My mom and everyone has also been awesome with helping stay with me or doing whatever needed to be done. I'm truly blessed beyond measure.<br /><br />By now you've likely heard how well everything went with my surgery, but for those that do not know, here's the breakdown. I had the surgery on my right lung to remove what was left of the lesions and it turned out that it was all necrotic tissue. That means my left lung and all of my lymph nodes are also necrotic. Necrotic means dead tissue, which equals no cell growth which means REMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />That's right. Cancer can suck it. We won!<br /><br />So now that brings up what to do with this blog. So many of you have told me how much you enjoy reading it that I thought I should continue writing. Also, since I'm going back to school to be an English teacher, I could always use the chance at writing more to improve upon it. I don't think the subject matter will necessarily change that much, I'll keep writing about my thoughts or general observations I make throughout the day. I'm also going to try and hold myself to publishing every few days which I've failed miserably at before.<br /><br />What else is going to change? Well, we'll be making the initial donation from the bracelets as soon as we sell the remaining ones left. I think there's about 30 or so left (previously I thought we sold them all, but i found the last bit of them while doing some cleaning this morning). What we'll do is that if you want to buy some, we'll give you 2 for 1. That's right folks. Its a fire sale. Just order the amount you plan to buy (i.e. if you want 2 then order 1, if you want 4 then order 2, etc. and I'll take care of the rest.) As well donations, I'd like to try and keep the revenue flowing through the site in the hopes that each year we can try and donate at least the same amount. So you may notice some ads on the side. I'm going to try my best to keep them relevant and not just crazy everywhere. They're definitely legit, and approved by me, so don't worry about clicking on the links if you feel so inclined. They don't pay much (avg is around $100 every 3 months), but that's $100 that can go to the charity.<br /><br />So that's whats been going on and what the plans are. If you need a nice stocking stuffer then order some bracelets...Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-84041827696596279562011-11-20T21:25:00.008-06:002011-11-21T23:11:08.595-06:00Hospitals are fun, and other falacies... Top Ten #1-5Alright here it is, the last five from our top ten moments at the hospital this week. Looking back on them I wish I'd felt good enough to live blog them because some would have been sheer gold, but no use worrying about it now. I'll try to recount them back to you as close to how I remembered them. If you haven't read the first post of #10-6 you can go here: http://bit.ly/rAkiZH<br /><br /><br />5. Down 1 more wire & the constant beeping.<br /> As of now I'm down to just one iv wire. That has been a big improvement over last week when I had breathing tubes, an iv with drugs as well as a sensor that monitored my breathing and pulse via my fingers. The breathing tubes sucked because they were cumbersome, attached to my ribcage, & hard to walk around with (especially if you had to try and rush to the bathroom quickly). The drugs, of course, I didn't mind. They knocked you out quickly and efficiently. You weren't loopy, out of it, or anything. Pain just ceased to exist and you fell asleep. The sensor, however, was the bane of my existence. If your pulse went above 120 or breathing went below 89 (it somehow measured how much oxygen my body used through my finger...) then it would start beeping loudly. It did this A LOT!!!!!! The entire issue with how this works is what I dont understand. When you've had surgery on your lungs there are 3 things that are known. a)you can't move your arms very well b)you have limited breathing capabilities c)you are in pain quite frequently. With those things known, why would you design a sensor that limits your ability to push the button that gives you pain medication. You had to reach over and push a button on its panel to restart it and then you had to get your pulse and breathing to appropriate levels before it would dispense medication. I can't tell you how many nights I was peacefully asleep, but didn't breathe properly at some point so it woke me up beeeping. Of course I jumped up trying to shut it off, which caused immediate pain, yet in the dark, I couldnt get the buttons pushed to make it all stop. once you got it done, you'd end up lying in the bed, shrt of breath, in pain... even though you'd just been peacefully asleep. I HATED thhis machine. like hated it this much:<br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/l0_S_EdZ_I8" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br /><br />4. My room door will not shut all the way on its own. You have to pull it all the way until you hear a click. Besides my nurses, no one understands this. It isn't the worst thing that could happen, but inevitably old people wander the halls. One thing I've learned this week about old people in hospitals is that in general they have a fucking staring problem...<br /><br />3. What would happen if this thing had wheels?<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kUr8PAkLC_c/TssnOIE1YdI/AAAAAAAAHAE/OxcpC10M9jU/s1600/toilet%2Bchair.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 455px; height: 232px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kUr8PAkLC_c/TssnOIE1YdI/AAAAAAAAHAE/OxcpC10M9jU/s320/toilet%2Bchair.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677674878870053330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />This is apparently an alternative to having a bedpan and actually making it into the bathroom. I also assume that if you are claustrophobi anddon't enjoy going #2 in small spaces such as hospital bathrooms, then this gives you the freedom to stink up the entire room you're staying in and require someone to clean up after you as well. My first thought when I saw this was, What if it had wheels? Don't think that I wouldn't have went out into the hallwaysand wheeled up next to people who thought I probably had nothing on under my gown. I may or may not have also grunted and sounded like one should when using thechair properly. It might be doubtful that I'd actually ever do that, but what I wouldn't give to see some old dude rolling down the hallway without a care.<br /><br />2. One of the first nights in the hospital, I was able to get up and help myself to the bathroom, but it took me quite awhile to gather up all my wires, collectors, sensors, etc. It hadn't really been an issue so far, but as they pump more and more fluids into your IV, you end up getting out of bed 2 or 3 times a night to pee. It was on one of those occasions that I had to go to the bathroom that I didn't quite fully wake up from my dream first. For whatever reason, I was dreaming that I was Indiana Jones and the Nazi's had sequestered me in the hospital for something. I know I was watching tv (in the dream) and they were torturing people on it. It was at that point that reality and dreaming collided to make me one hilarious person and probably scare the shit out of my mom who had been staying in the hospital with me. I remember her asking me what was going on and my reply was that I needed to get these things off of me because I was about to pee my pants... I was pulling at the leads, wires, and tubes and luckily, I didn't rip any of them out. Mom jumped up and helped me to get free and make it to the bathroom before I peed my pants. No one wants to pee their pants as an adult, especially Indiana Jones...<br /><br />1.My lasting memory from this whole ordeal may not seem like much to you guys, but to Susan and I, it was phenomenal. There was an older lady in the room next to us and her husband was staying with her. At some point he desperately needed to do one of two things: 1) shit 2) track down her doctor/nurse and ask for something. I don't know which it was, but it looked like the first. Dude was power-walking the shit out of it and all the while he had his cheeks clenched together like he had the secret to cold-fusion hidden up in there. Ultimately it wouldn't have mattered because luckily he was wearing brown polyester slacks...Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-90418940758570246272011-11-19T06:58:00.022-06:002011-11-20T20:59:11.930-06:00Hospitals are fun, and other falacies... Top Ten #10-6So I've been in the hospital since Tuesday. It hasn't been that bad, but overall it has done little to boost my desire to have an extended stay in one again. Let's start with what has happened this week. On Tuesday I had my surgery, the plan was to go in and wedge out a couple sections of my right lung as well as take out the lymph node that was in between my lungs. Good news across the board there, You know from the last post that there was a concern that it would either be a teratoma or dead, necrotic tissue and it was ALL NECROTIC tissue!!!! The actually left the lymph node alone and didn't extract one spot because of its placement in my lung (it was in the middle, meaning losing more good lung tissue to extract dead tissue that will eventually go away on its own). This also means that because my left lung and lymph nodes that were likely involved in the 2nd surgery are of the same prognosis that I won't have to have the 2nd surgery!!!!!!!!! So for all intents and purposes, my cancer treatment is over!!!!!! I'll still have to recover from this surgery, but from here on out it will just be periodic scans every 3 months to make sure I'm still where I need to be at. So that was awesome news! Unfortunately, I've been in some pain, as one would expect a lung surgery patient to be, so I haven't been entirely up to blogging until today. There's also been far less going on than I expected so I don't necessarily have a live blog for you or any really funny diatribes about my stay. What I thought I'd do is to live blog, but that isn't feasible so why don't we just list the top 10 observations made by Susan and myself about this week.<br /><br />10. Itching like a crackhead.<br /> <iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-6xENiFq0B4" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br /><br />This what my skin has felt like this past week. It started when I had to get my sponge bath and I'm pretty sure the student nurses did it wrong. They didn't pre-apply any water instead just starting out wet, soapy towels and then half washing those off with barely wet towels. Basically they got the soap just wet enough to coat/liquid enough for it to adhere to my body and then they left it on. So for 2 days after this I had the dry skin of an iguana. The next couple of days I ended up wandering around on my walks looking like a paler version of Tyrone Biggums...<br /><br />9. So in the above I mentioned my walks. If you've ever had an extended stay, then you know that they like for you to make sure that you get up and move around on a daily basis. As Suz has accompanied me on many walks we often talk about the people walking by us. After noticing, that most of the time, wearing scrubs makes you look like you just took a dump in your pants, Suz would always say, "Dumps like a truck..." as they passed. It was our little inside joke and it was funny until it got to the point where, if I had taken enough pain meds to make me silly, Susan would say the line and then all were subjected to me walking around in a hospital gown singing the Thong Song. I'm not sure what's more sad, that I did this repeatedly or that I knew way more of the song than I thought...<br /><br />8. Hospital Food. Bleh. I've never seen great examples of it and this place has done it best to keep confirming what we already knew. They apparently don't care if you eat while you are here. Among some of the tops this week, we had a pork chop that looked half-regurgitated and thus they decided to top it with mac and cheese. Only they forgot to make it without cheese. So we open up the tray and its a shitty porkchop with a scoop of congealed macaroni on top?!?!?!?!<br />The other were the various jello concoctions they included in every meal. the 1st day I had lemon jello? I dont think even knew it existed and given the appearance, certainly had no desire to try it. The other days were mostly the perfect squares of jello with what appeared to be fruit in them. With what it looked like they spent on their hospital food budget in total, I somehow doubted that it had real peaches mixed in with the Jello. So, since we've eliminated that option, WTF was in that Jello?<br /><br />7. How's you pain? Oh I'd say its bad, possibly just shy of Gene Simmons...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTsVLAobFnA/TslkfjJrkLI/AAAAAAAAG_4/k-iclPLVWvQ/s1600/6371522223_51eb67922c.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 670px; height: 127px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTsVLAobFnA/TslkfjJrkLI/AAAAAAAAG_4/k-iclPLVWvQ/s320/6371522223_51eb67922c.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677179298451787954" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This was the observation that my buddy Burhan made. This line of smiley faces is what they use to determine your pain level. Its left to right, 1-10 with 10 being the worst possible scenario. A lot of the faces look funny and/or awkward. 4 & 6 look a little bit constipated. Which one can only assume that being constipated does leave you in some mild - moderate discomfort, so maybe there's a correlation there. Where it gets funny is around #8, Burhan noticed that they start adding mascara at that point. I assume this is possibly because eye makeup is painful??? I mean if you're a lab rabbit which is having it tested on you? then, yes it is likely painful...<br />What Burhan suggested was that the 2 longest tenured members of K.I.S.S., Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons were represented here. It makes complete sense. 8 is very severe pain and would give most of us the pouty look you always see on Paul's face as well as the inability to move most of your face, the latter coincides with the massive amounts of plastic surgery that Paul has had, rendering his face immovable. The trouble is that when I tell the nurses that my pain is about an 8, they may actually hear or think that I want to rock and roll all night, party every day.<br />10 is Gene Simmons. If you look closely the strain on the sign's face resembles the face paint scheme used by Simmons. So worst possible pain = Gene Simmons. Worst possible pain = odd reality tv show about your ego, making yourself a brand, and generally creeping me out. He married Shannon Tweed though, so I don't see how the queen of late night Skinemax being your wife = worst possible pain.<br /><br />6. My mom took off from work to come stay with me in the hospital this week, which I am very thankful for. If you know or have met my mom, it's easy to see that she is a very easy going, sweet person, that doesn't get bent out of shape over much. Unless your name is Roxy and you are a student nurse... The hospital has no nursing aide's in the section we're in, so they instead have student nurses come in and do hands on learning as well as help out the nurses who always seem to be running at full speed. We had multiple SN's, but our best one was named Roxy. If Roxy were a song she would be this one...<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G6Kspj3OO0s" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="420"></iframe><br /><br />She lingered. Always. Awkwardly & Forever. Since she was a student nurse in the first place, she had limited abilities. They mostly came in and checked your vital signs and handled things like making patients more comfortable/cleaning the rooms (you know, changing sheets, helping with any messes made, etc.). She made odd comments, obvious comments...we were always in an awkward state when she walked into the room. Plus she generally had no clue what she was doing. Therefore, my mom didn't care for Roxy. It got to the point where Mom left the room a couple of times as she came in to avoid the inevitable weirdness approaching.<br />The one thing she did with a Tourette's-like ferocity was to tell me to use my spirometer...<br /><br />That's one of these:<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/66230870@N07/6373691371/" title="Spiro by Kevod23, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6057/6373691371_8733a1f3a0.jpg" alt="Spiro" height="500" width="281" /></a><br /><br />Its known as an incentive spirometer. I have no clue what the incentive for using it was, but you'd have thought it was eternal salvation the way Roxy was promoting it. We actually think that it was the only word she'd managed to get good at saying and thus, felt more important when she used a technical term. So if you're on staff at Centennial Medical Center and somehow end up reading this. If you were mad because I didn't use my spirometer enough, blame Roxy. I don't like being told what to do repeatedly. Also, teach her some more words and how/when to exit a room and conversation properly. These are all things that will make the world better.<br /><br />So, that's my top 10, with posts 10-6 on this one. I decided to split them up into 2 because of the size. so you can look for then next one containing #1-5 coming after this one in a bit.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-65511855738501689672011-11-14T14:25:00.008-06:002011-11-14T14:56:48.214-06:00It's odd that I've put off this blog post since last Thursday. I guess it is more that I can't figure out how to truly wrap my head around what is about to happen. It always seems when you are sick or have been sick that the beauty of denial can be your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time. It allows you to not freak out, which is usually good, but at the same time it causes you to not share major news with anyone. You know, stuff like when you are having surgery on your lungs at 8:30am tomorrow...<br /><br />It's what I've spent the last month dreading, but knowing almost to certainty that it would happen. As you most likely know, all of my tumor markers are normal, the lesions on my lungs have shrank to almost nothing, and in general I feel better than I have in at least a year. As good as all of that is, when you had cancer and it <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metastasis">metastasizes</a> there are equal chances it stays around in 1 of 3 forms: 1) active cancer 2)<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teratoma">teratomas</a> or 3)necrotic tissue. Since my blood work shows normal markers we can eliminate the first possibility. Which is awesome. If there was a way to know what the lesions were without surgery then they would likely just observe them and make sure there was no growth. There is no way to know and while necrotic tissue usually dissipates on its own, the teratoma is the concerning option and reason for surgery. These are the tumors that can start to grow on their own and while not cancerous, they are the ones you hear where people have huge growths that contain hair, nails, teeth, etc. No one needs something like that in their lungs. So, the plan is to take out what is in my right lung tomorrow as well as the enlarged lymph nodes in my chest. All of this, as scary as it is to me, has always been an option and is fairly common practice in cases like mine. After about 5 weeks off they'll do my left lung, which has considerably less trouble spots, and also do the lymph nodes in my stomach area.<br /><br />Is this all serious? hell yes. Am I freaked out? more than I care to admit. As everyone who knows has told me so far, "Everything will be fine!" I'm sure it will, but if you have a friend or loved one who is about to have some very vital organs cut into, don't tell them that. It downplays the true seriousness of it all. While it is easy for all of you to consider the percentage where something bad happens as minimal and unlikely, my mind despite its usual glass-half-fullness is running into roughly DEFCON 2-3 range. I know it is something I can't control and that I shouldn't be this worried, but I cannot help it.<br /><br />The good news for all of us is that I'll be in the hospital for 5 days and thus will have ample time to come up with entertaining & funny things for all of us. the good thing is that the rooms are private, but the bad things is that the rooms are private. I had hopes of an annoying roommate with which i could talk about all week. Maybe it will be a nurse or something that comes to the rescue and provides me with the necessary material. we shall see.<br /><br />Now to end on some good news. We sold all of the bracelets and thus have raised about $900 for the local charity which is awesome. So maybe tomorrow you should all wear your "I Rock One" bracelets. Susan is also checking into something at work where Dell matches $ for $ on any employee donating to charity, so we could possibly have almost $2k to donate. Which would be awesome. So thanks for helping out and thanks for being so supportive over this last half of 2011.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-37143250628988705092011-11-09T20:22:00.009-06:002011-11-09T21:38:05.340-06:00We've found a way to live blog again!!!!There's jack shit on TV except for the CMA awards. Susan and I have been sitting here making fun and commenting on everything that has happened. We just had a eureka moment that it should all be written down in live blog form. I'm getting a late start so let's give you a quick rundown of what we've already came to agreement on or what Susan came up with first.<br /><br /><ol><li>Reba does not age</li><li>The Band Perry = The Duran Duran of country music</li><li>Zac Brown Band doesn't suck</li><li>Hank Wiliams Jr. prove that all country music artists & fans are Republicans</li><li>Someone was mean to Taylor Swift</li><li>Lionel Fucking Richie just came on the CMA's. There isn't anything else to really say about that. Susan says its proof that you can turn anything into a fucking country song. I've got $20 and a song called Dancing on the Ceiling that says she's wrong.</li><li>Darius Rucker just joined him on stage. Somewhere in the south Charley Pride just shit his pants. Also, if they don't do at least one Hootie song, I'm gonna be pissed.</li><li>Fuck me. I just lost $20</li><li>Judging by all of the entertainers on stage tonight. Somewhere backstage, there's a crazy person holding the next performer at bedazzler point...</li><li>Commercial Break: we just saw a commercial for the new Alvin & The Chipmunks, Chipwrecked movie. There is no humorous comment that can outdo the fact that we are all aware someone spent at least $1 million on this, probably more...</li><li>Judging by the stage setup for The Band Perry, Suz's assumption of them being Nashville's version of Duran Duran is correct. Although it looks more like Duran Duran hooked up with Old Crow Medicine Show. There's a lady in the corner playing an old time phonograph... I was unaware this qualified as an instrument.</li><li>They just showed Zac Brown in the audience. He was wearing a black leather vest with Jack Daniels patches and is drinking out of a red solo cup. I imagine he's a cool dude.</li><li>Matt Nathanson is singing a duet on the CMA's??? If you know who he is, then you fully understand the oddity of him singing a duet with Sugarland.</li><li>The problem with live blogging something like CMA awards is that you have to watch the CMA awards...</li><li>Blake Shelton is tall.</li><li>Martina McBride always sings these serious songs. She also just got a standing ovation, which would be impressive if it wasn't the 17th time they've done it tonight...</li><li>This whole Glenn Campbell tribute seems genuine, but weird. Not in a bad way, just in a, "I dont understand whats happening right now" kind of way. Soooo, I'm done with live blogging this stuff.</li></ol>Hope you all enjoyed it.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-56249675839661272592011-11-08T23:55:00.004-06:002011-11-09T00:46:16.633-06:00Where to go from hereI'll likely post more this week after we meet with the surgical oncologist on Thursday, but I wanted to be sure that I post at least once per week. I've been thinking quite a bit about the direction of my writing (especially since so many of you have asked me to keep this going) and how it all fits into my life after chemo and cancer. Over the last little bit, I've spent some time reflecting on some of my posts and remembering the days in chemo when they happened. So, I think that's the direction we'll head with this thing (I say we because you guys make me want to write more. The fact that people get a kick out of my thoughts and observations is somewhat addictive)...<br /><br />Unfortunately, live blogging will definitely not happen as often because of the fact that I won't be sitting in a room with strangers for hours on end. That isn't to say that there won't be times when the chance arises (we'll be flying to Texas for Christmas & I'm already anticipating the travel that day will provide an awesome live blog), but in general they'll be less. Instead, I've decided that the best course is to make note of small conversations, interactions, etc. that I have on a daily basis and recant them to you all while possibly involving a running commentary as to how odd, funny, sad, etc. the event struck me as.<br /><br />For example, as you may or may not know, I've started working at Macy's through the holiday season as a way to get back into real life and have some sort of a normal existence. There are two things about people in a retail environment that I've forgotten about. They're mean and stupid. On occasion they prefer to double dip and be both. Actually, that isn't true. On occasion they exhibit only one of these traits, the majority of the time, they show you that being an asshole doesn't require intelligence and vice versa... During a sale last week, you could spend $100 on men's clothing and save 25% off your purchase. Not a bad deal at all, as many customers took advantage of it, but we had one lad that wanted to take full advantage of it. Advantage isn't actually the correct term; she wanted to treat our discount like The Sisters treated Andy at Shawshank before he turned into H&R Block for the guards. Since she was buying close to $300 worth of stuff, she asked repeatedly that we separate them into thirds so that she could get her 25% on each $100 as well as that would save her more money... I'll let you ponder that scenario for a minute. I swear, all of the employees standing near enough to hear it had to think for a second because it sounded so stupid that we thought maybe she had figured out a way to cheat the system. Turns out she hadn't. I imagine she had to cheat her way through basic math though, as saving 25% on $100, 3 times separately doesn't mean you save 75% on $300. It means you still saved 25%, but you wasted everyone's time, so that you could prove your stupidity. <br /><br />It makes me wish life were like a hockey game. In hockey, if you do something stupid like hook another player with your stick, you're penalized for 2:00 and the other team goes on a power play where they have 1 less person to play against. Why can't life be like that? You waste someone's time, cut someone off driving, or pull basically any other stunt that involves you preferring being an idiot over considering your surroundings, and you get put in the penalty box. I'm not sure what the times would translate to, nor do I care if it happens to be 2 hours or 2 days, I just want to know that at any point I'm skating on life's version of a power play because you can't park your Prius in a fucking parking spot correctly. It's a Toyota, their turning radii (yeah that's right. radii. its plural as well as badass. we could call the plural of prius as prii, but I prefer to jut call them douchenozzles who paid $9,000 more for a car to save fuel that will not add up to that amount over the time they own it) is unbelievable. Seriously, have you ever owned one? I can begin to think how far up your nose, your finger has to be for you to eff up parking in a straight manner. It isn't difficult, and you aren't special. Don't eff it up, but if you do fix it, because until I can get a power play or make it legal to hit you as if checking you into the boards, I shouldn't have to drive up another level in the garage because you huffed too much airplane glue as a kid...Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-54786652989229078592011-11-02T10:40:00.005-05:002011-11-02T12:53:39.659-05:00News of the day...You've noticed as of late (or maybe you haven't) that my posting has all but ceased to exist. There wasn't a reason for the lack of writing really, I just haven't felt like it. Honestly, since chemo has finished it's been a weird month. The best part of chemo was that it gave me a schedule, in a time when I didn't really have much else on my plate besides beating cancer. Once that ended, I found myself with nothing much to do. With not knowing whether I'd have surgery or not, I couldn't really go out a get a job right away, school was mid semester, it was almost like i was in purgatory. Dangling between the lives of beating cancer and what everyone else normally does.<br /><br />The good news is that after today I know what is happening. I had my ct scan yesterday, and the results were exactly what was expected. My oncologist figured that, due to their original size, I'd have some residual tissue left over from the tumors in my lungs. My blood work shows no growth markers, so in essence there is no cancer, but there is a possibility that it could start growing again. The thing that I find more concerning is that they have the ability to turn into a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teratoma">teratoma</a>. (In case you don't wanna click on the link, they're basically tumors that can contain things such as teeth, hair, bones, etc. which in your lungs would be a bad thing) The decision is that we need to get those out of there. Next week I'll meet with a surgical oncologist (yeah, I didn't know they existed either...) and we'll discuss what the surgery deal is. I know that it isn't as invasive as one would think, but to be real honest, when you're on blood thinners because of a blood clot and someone wants to go rooting around in your lungs, it's hard to not be freaked out. I think that's what has led me to be so quiet about things this past month. I have no reason to be as scared as I am. Given what medical procedures I've encountered this year, I should be fine and in time I may be, but in less than 2 weeks, I'll have had the surgery and then be able to be declared cancer free. No More Technicalities. I'll keep you guys updated more as the next few weeks go by and I promised myself I'd write at least one humorous post per week. My people watching has been nowhere near as prevalent a priority as it should be... I'll make sure I fix that!Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-90099141679421281742011-10-11T15:41:00.006-05:002011-10-11T16:17:23.311-05:00The Latest Cancer NewsHad an appointment today to figure out what the next steps are for treatment and thought I'd update everyone with what's going on. As you may or may not know, my oncologist decided to not do the last two chemo treatments. The reasoning behind this is that the tumor levels in my bloodwork have moved to normal levels. Essentially, I don't have cancer anymore, but there are likely still some mass left of the tumors in my lungs. So the next step is to have a ct scan done around the 1st of November (that gives the chemo in my bloodstream a month to continue working and get on out). After that, I will either have surgery to remove whats left of the tumors or they will have broken up to the point that it would be considered in remission and then I'd just have to monitor it with scans every 3 months for about the next year or so.<br /><br />As far as the surgery goes, it isn't super major surgery, but it does involve going into my lungs, so it isn't like minor knee surgery or something. I'm not sure exactly what it does involve, but rest assured I'll keep you in the loop as everything moves along and I find out what's going on.<br /><br />This leads to another development, some of which I'm not sure of, but many of you have asked about this blog now that the majority of my treatments are over. I had never really thought about it one way or another being as given my current situation, I had/have a tendency to not think about the future or about anything going on. I'd call it a mild form of denial, but whatever you wanna call it, healthy or not, it was my way of coping. Now that everything is looking much, much better I can think of what to do with it. I went back through and read the majority of my blogs (something I had yet to do before last night). What I discovered is that I've merely been writing about observations in my world. Just because my world is changing (You may not believe this, but there is a part of me that will miss going to chemo. Lord knows it isn't for treatment, but rather for the fact that I never knew what I'd see in there every day) doesn't mean that I won't have equally funny observations. So, I'll be continuing the blog, but it will probably be about whatever randomness I see from day to day. Occasionally, I'll probably go into Wal Mart and ride their power scooters for reactions as well and because a part of me really wants to do that. Keep reading for the updates if you'd like, if not, then thanks for reading during this crazy time of my life. I'll keep you updated as the next couple months go by. 2011 has been a shitty year, so let's hope 2012 will be better!Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-19969454428558791792011-09-30T10:50:00.006-05:002011-09-30T11:08:10.670-05:00Update timeI had just noticed as I posted some other stuff that I haven't given an update in awhile. Plus, I only have 2 more treatments after today, so its a good time to bring everyone up to speed. It has been 3 months since I found out I had cancer today. That's weird to think about sometimes, and it doesn't always seem like its been that long as chemo has flown by for the most part. I got my latest blood work back on Tuesday and it was good news across the board. The tumor markers were back down to the levels you would see in a normal person. It doesn't necessarily mean that I don't have cancer anymore, but it does mean that my outlook is extremely good. As for what happens next, we shall see. My options are one of three: 1) Radiation to eliminate whats left of the tumors in my lungs and lymph nodes. 2) surgery to remove them or 3) do nothing and keep everything under close observation. The way my doctor explained it is that the tumors are dead and no longer growing, but due to their initial size, their would always be some critical mass left over. These are basically dead cancer cells just hanging out in my lungs. There's no guarantee they will start growing again, but there's no guarantee to the contrary either. The family is leaning towards surgery, which I admit scared the shit out of me at first (simply because it involves cutting lungs open and I'm naturally not a fan of that...) but now the idea has grown on me a bit. If for no other reason than, it ensures that everything is gone. Radiation isn't too high on my list because I don't like the idea of extending the treatment and since I've never had the urge to stick my head into a microwave, i don't see how I'd possibly enjoy having beams of it shot into my chest and stomach (although I am curious if they can cook a hot pocket any quicker with it.) As for observation, Its easier, but there's always the chance it could come back and I don't really want to chance that. I mean don't get me wrong, this whole cancer thing has really been a blast and all, but...<br /><br />I don't know what will happen as it all pertains to my last ct scan which I'll get in about another month. Until then I'll just finish my treatment and wait patiently for it. We can all rest easy knowing now that the prognosis has been great and I'm sure good news will follow. I can't tell you all enough how much the support has meant to me. It truly lets you know that people care about you.Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2421388508250785547.post-60885971520279861522011-09-28T13:04:00.002-05:002011-09-28T13:25:31.471-05:00Diversity...We has it as well as a LIVE BLOG!!!<div><p>Today started out as a fairly benign day in chemo. I was the only patient and I sat here on my laptop listening to some tunes and relaxing. Then in a matter of 15 minutes this place turned into the Model U.N. As I gaze around the room we have at least 4 ethnicities represented and 3 of the major 4 religions in the world. A quick check on Wikipedia tells me that our friend in the orange robe is indeed a hindu monk otherwise known as a swami. Up until now, my only interaction with a swami was the dude on the Bozo the Clown show and he was pretty badass, so I'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Plus, I dont think Hindus can curse people, but just to be safe, I dont think its wise to cross him. In the room we also have our friends from previous visits, the buddhist monk (actually I dont know if he's a monk, I just remember him mentioning that he worked at the temple.), although his friend left him, so I can't possibly translate what they're talking about now. We also have a lady who appears to be channeling her best Erykah Badu impersonation and generally freaking about needles. Might as well live blog the shit out of this...</p><p>11:40 - Erykah Badu is really concerned about having the tv on. Now that she's gotten that, she immediately starts making phone calls while on her phone. There is a huge sign by her precious tv that specifically states phone calls aren't permitted. Glad to see she's paying attention to both...</p><p>11:42 - I understand that everyone has differences when it comes to tv preferences, but this nutri-system infomercial can't possibly be entertaining to anyone. I mean, it's better than Matlock, but not really.</p><p>11:44 - The swami is Hindu, but he has clearly eaten well enough to develop a Buddha belly. This concerns me.</p><p>11:48 - The gentlemen next to Erykah Badu is a Chatty Cathy. He has easily jumped into every conversation going on. Except for the Swami's because he doesn't speak whatever language they're jabbering in...</p><p>11:51 - Now chatty cathy is talking about his puking while and after he eats while giving Erykah Badu guidance on how to best take a needle into your chest port.</p><p>11:53 - The lady that is with the Swami is getting treatment. They ask you to verify your name when they hook you up, her name is Josie. I seriously doubt that's how its spelt or that she knows any of the pussycats...</p><p>11:55 - Now the Buddhist guy is talking on his phone. I'm guessing he can't read the phone sign clearly posted. I'm also amazed at the number of older people who don't keep their phones on vibrate only. I think almost everyone I know my age does and manages just fine.</p><p>11:58 - chatty cathy is now talking about puking again. its sad that its related to cancer, but I have cancer too, so I can be annoyed. If you're reading this and you don't have cancer, you shouldn't. A button also popped off a machine and rolled under my chair. Chatty cathy jumped out of his chair and crawled under mine to retrieve it. It wasn't awkward at all...</p><p>12:02 - Erykah Badu just had someone bring in Chinese food. The Buddhist monk did act a little uppity as if to insinuate that it wasn't authentic Chinese food. </p><p>12:09 - Chatty Cathy is now asking if Erykah Badu's nail polish is emerald green. I doubt that he actually knows what emerald green is.</p><p>12:22 - Now my mom has joined into looking around the room observing. The swami's friend has a giant ruby between her eyes. Mom seems amazed by this. This somehow seems normal compared to the large hindu monk sitting beside her.</p><p>12:33 - chatty cathy has now started talking about Vietnam. I'm 25% concerned he may have a flashback and 75% hoping he does. Unless he has a gun, especially because the buddhist guy over there may be first to go.</p><p>12:39 - I've now begun trying to sneak pictures of the monks because I'm a horrible person. I'm also now concerned that both religions have some edict against pictures due to soul stealing or something. I'm sure it doesn't apply to me since I'm not Hindu, but I dont wanna get the Swami in any more trouble.</p><p>12:46 - The swami has left the building. :-(</p><p>12:47 - The buddhist and I have the same birthday. we should totes throw a joint bday party. I'm wondering if he would pitch in on the keg?</p><p>12:51 -This concludes our live blog as I'm finished. I''l keep you updated if the Buddhist and I decide to send out an evite...<br /><br /><br /><br /></p></div>Kevohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01197329498790307472noreply@blogger.com0