As you may remember, one our favorite past-times is to watch country music awards shows and make fun of them. Tonight is the ACMA awards in Las Vegas. This should be good and by good, I mean bad...
7:12 - We start with some guy singing about saving water by drinking beer. While I cannot find a hole in his argument, it doesn't seem like a great idea for a song.
7:14 - First Reba siting of the night. I would enjoy a lump sum payment in the amount of 22% of her plastic surgery bill. I imagine that's enough for a small house, car, and various other accouterments we would possibly want.
7:21 - They just informed us that Toby Keith will be performing Red Solo Cup. I feel the need to inform them that song will likely induce a need to vomit and bleed from the ears on my part.
7:31 - Temporarily changed the channel only to turn it back and have Susan audibly cringe when Keith Urban tried to strangle a cat onstage, then it turned out that he was just attempting to sing...
7:33 - They're asking people to tweet their thoughts about the awards. Which may end up worse than when ESPN asks sports fans to tweet on the show.
7:35 - Eli Young Band just won an award. Despite the fact that I hate seeing they've gone mainstream country, I was impressed that Mike Eli made a successful attempt at eating an entire buffet in Vegas somewhere.
7:40 - Is there a statute somewhere that requires all country songs to rhyme every line in a song?
7:50 - Some kid just came on the awards show. Susan called him the country version of Justin Bieber. She nailed it before I could even get the words out. This is why we do this.
7:52 - Now some other band is playing some song and a children's choir is singing in the back. It keeps referencing world hunger and ending it. I bet they're pissed at Mike Eli.
7:53 - Suz just informed me that this band is "Little Big Town", I've renamed them to "Next time you think a John Lennon song mixed with anything is a good idea...just don't."
Soooo. we almost made