Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Seriously guys is this the Truman Show?

After seeing the Truman Show, I've always thought that it truly was an interesting concept. What if your life was one big lie (or not necessarily a lie, but you know...whatever...you get my point). Ok, so you probably didn't get my point, but it is basically this. Does anyone else feel like there is a good portion of their life that could be another "Candid Camera" episode?

As a way of proving this theory, I've started recounting the things that I've witnessed in the last year or so. Since no one has emailed me at chemosabe23 at gmail dot com (sorry had to write it out because while Spam may be a delicious canned meat to some, I prefer not to deal with it) with funny videos or links for me to look at and then make fun of, I've just decided that for the time being, I'll recount something each week or so that you all can then let me know whether its insane to think that it is weird that shit keeps happening when I'm around.

So if we are facebook friends (you. are. welcome. btw.) you likely noticed my post earlier about the blind girl. Whether you did or didn't, I'll gladly recount this story so that you all may feel the awkwardness that I felt when this happened. This semester I have a History class at 6:20am. Yes, I realize how stupid that sentence is. To be honest, I don't mind it that much because it enables you to have a good portion of your day going before anyone gets to campus. Anyways, this morning we had our first exam and thus, I was finished at roughly 7am and had an hour before my next class. The student center was on the way to my next class, and I knew that no normal (read: annoying) college student would be around, so I thought it was a good way to kill an hour, plus chik-fil-a is there, and unless you're a communist, who doesn't enjoy a good chicken biscuit? The answer is Kim Jong Il. He doesn't enjoy a chicken biscuit because he's dead. He's also a communist. Really not sure which reason supersedes the other on why he doesn't like chicken biscuits.

I'm sitting in the booth enjoying the first chicken biscuit that was sold on MTSU's campus this morning (yes, I'm proud) and I see this girl coming towards me. I immediately note some distinct differences. A) She is walking with a huge cane/walking stick... which leads me to B) She is blind.

Let me stop here to let you grasp the fact, that at no point do I intend to poke fun at her condition, or the daily trials that she likely deals with. The following is merely an observation on what else I noticed about her and the events thereafter. No more. No less.

Once she gets closer, I notice that she has a giant eyebrow ring above her right eye. Call me an asshole, but if you aren't magically still living in any year before 2005, then you have no business with a piercing in your eyebrow. Regardless of anything else, you just shouldn't do it. Compound the fact that, I assume she has never seen what this thing looks like and you can understand how I thought this was awkward. It was more awkward because I felt bad for judging her even though it was a trivial brow accoutrement. I was fixated on developing any back story that seemed remotely feasible to explain why a blind girl would pierce her eyebrow. I had nothing. Keep in mind that as I'm distracted by her life's story, she is walking through the middle of the student center sweeping her cane in a radius 3 times as wide as any that I've ever seen. I say that because, we've all seen blind people use their canes/walking sticks (I'm not really sure what they're called) with a sweeping motion in front of them. It normally seems that its a fairly short sweep in front of them, but this lady was ensuring that no obstacle existed within 6 feet on either side of her. Again, I am in no way trying to make fun of her. I'm merely recounting the events that I witnessed in hopes that you guys will read them and agree that they are weird as shit.

So...as I sit there, scenarios blazing through my mind. It happens. In the most perfect or perfect timings. As her walking stick sweeps far left, it fails to locate the large trash can on her right. By now, I assume she is late for class, because she is walking at a feverish pace. BAM!!!! She careens off of the trash can. I didn't have a radar gun, but I would have clocked her at roughly 6-7mph. That's straight up moving for walking! Had this been normal class time, many, many people would have seen this and responded appropriately or inappropriately (most likely inappropriately). Despite what you'd think, my reaction was that of shock. "No way that just happened."

She was unfazed. She kept about her day. I'm sure its something to be expected. I sat there, half chuckling at the absurdity of it all and half ashamed that I was the only there to witness it and then have no one to gauge my reaction off of. That's what I mean when I make the "Truman Show" comparisons. This was truly one of those moments where I couldn't believe what was going on. 15 minutes later, I couldn't believe that no one jumped out laughing and telling me it was a joke.

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