Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Cancer Update

Well, I'll guess most of you have noticed that I haven't posted anything since last week. I haven't been in the best of moods, mostly due to the fact that I had my halfway CT scan last week and didn't get to find out the results until today. I hate not knowing stuff and when it's something this serious, it's even worse! Luckily, I got good news today. The lesions on my lungs have shrank by more than 50% which is a better than expected prognosis! Suck it Cancer! I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but it's good. The other good news is that we have lot's of people in the chemo room and one guy that wants to talk to all of us. He looks like "The Dude". He's actually super nice and for once I feel worse than normal for even giving him a nickname, but it's not every day that you get to have a conversation with someone who is a white russian and bathrobe away from being a doppelganger for Jeff Bridges. In the room now we have some really odd folks. For starters, almost everyone has an odd as hell look about them. The research lady (I think her job is to coordinate information for those who are participating in clinical trials) creeps me the eff out. She's a "close my eyes when I speak" person, and for whatever reason that freaks me out. This other lady in here has the most wicked stare in the world. Luckily she's reading and not looking around the room. Well its that or she's attempting to set the book on fire with her eyes. I'd put the odds of which is happening at even, with a slight nod to book combustion occurring spontaneously (Fahrenheit 451 bitches!!!!!). I've watched her for the last 10 minutes and she hasn't turned the page...which leads me to believe that she is definitely trying to set it on fire. She also may or may not be illiterate. Which means that I really wish LeVar Burton were here...

Now she's up walking around & talking to the nurse. The stare that she has while talking makes me glad that she doesn't stare at me. I also just figured out that she's a lesbian. That doesn't make any difference to me, it does however confirm some general, stereotypical looks that I observed. I feel like the New Balance shoe in white should be the official shoe of lesbians. You may disagree, but throughout chemo, I've made enough of these observations to have a consistent hypothesis on this matter.

You know these shoes. They are also worn by nerdy white dudes with khakis. I'm not sure what demographic or athletic event New Balance was trying to capture with this product. I am definitely sure, it was the nerdy white guy/creepy eyed lady sector. You can call me an ass for saying it, but without a doubt, you will now judge anyone and everyone who you see wearing these shoes. If you observe anyone other than those I've listed, please comment to tell me, bc like unicorns, I do not believe they exist...

1 comment:

  1. Those nerdy white guys wearing New Balance with khakis are college professors. This is a theory I have personally developed and tested.