Tuesday, January 10, 2012

How quickly things change...

Yet how often they stay the same...

I spent the last half of 2011 beating cancer. I've spent the first 10 days of 2012 trying to beat old habits and ways of thinking. I think cancer was easier. The one thing that I'd said I had learned when all of this cancer business was over, was that I wouldn't take anything for granted or would I slip back into the laziness I'd developed over the last couple of years. Both of these have been challenging, as you start to get back into life you find out that it's tough to ease into it. It's the equivalent of merging back onto the expressway while trying to stay under 35mph. It just isn't gonna happen and in the process you'll either get hurt or screw something up. Likely both.

My first goal (I use goal bc having a new year's resolution seems silly. It seems that you're agreeing to change something for that year or make it the focal point for that year, instead of change that is more lasting.) was to write much more frequently this year. Simple enough idea, but now that we're almost a month removed from cancer getting it's ass kicked, I find that I have much less to talk about, yet I only have the desire to ramble for 1,000+ words. Basically, I can't just send you guys a post that has 2 paragraphs and leave it alone. I have to make some grandiose point or have an epiphanal moment to pass along, instead of just making fun of people I shouldn't. The catch 22 that is approaching is I'll be back in school starting Thursday. On one side, it will provide you with many stories about the youth of today being the rotten foundation with which we must build the future (seriously, I'm gonna be teaching them and if most are like the ones I've had classes with, then the outlook is bleak...) while the other side is that I'll have 3/4 of my 15 hours this semester in writing intensive classes. Sure, I may decide I want to write, but there's no telling what it might sound like after I've finished everything else I have to do.

Once again, if you're unable to draw a conclusion from my rambling (surprised face) then I'll lay out what I've attempted to say. I had cancer. Now I don't. I was lazy and generally not enthused about much. I am now slightly enthused about some things. Then I read an update about some one's nephew having open heart surgery and how thankful they were for the doctors and nurses who literally saved his life. I've also read a friend's updates from high school about her daughter (who's a toddler) going through chemo. It brought back a lot of feelings, but most of all it caused me to stop for a second and reflect on the blessings I've received. Too often, we get caught up in the middle of surviving each day that we don't think about any alternatives. I have a loving wife, many friends, and at 30, I never thought I would be so grateful for my health. Don't take these things for granted, don't take each day or opportunity for granted. Be aware that something new may always be just over the horizon. Life is busy. Don't miss how beautiful the forest is because you were fixated on a single tree...

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