An Ode to Jerry aka My Beard

Okay, so you know or at least you should know, unless you were home schooled in a religious cult and have yet to actually interact with other humans (if so...how's the Kool-Aid?), that a side effect of chemo is hair loss. Despite the fact that God was slowly taking mine through genetics anyways, this week happened to be when chemo started to speed up that process, albeit a very temporary 12 week stint as a completely bald dude. I decided to speed up the process and shave my head and my beard. Susan was worried that I might actually be more upset about my beard, she had a good reason to think that as I was. I had worked hard for 3 months on it and it was bountiful and epic. Other than the few bare spots, which in its beginning made this guy from Kentucky look as if he was genetically predispositioned to grow "mutton chops". Jerry and I had some great times, (I know what you're thinking, "did this dude just posthumously name his beard he shaved off?" Damn right I did. You may also be thinking things like, "Why Jerry and not something different?" or "Why is he having a 2 sided convo by himself inside of the parenthesis?" All good questions and honestly I dont know.) I even just put a pair of parenthesis in bold for no reason other than it made me happy. Yep, that's where I'm at today. Putting parenthesis in bold ecstatic...
Anyways, back to hair loss. That was kind of unexpected and scary. I've never pulled strands of hair out before, especially out of Jerry, and that seemed to freak me out. (I know some of you are still confused that Jerry is the name I gave my beard after I shaved him off (I also realize that by the end of this post, I plan on all of you knowing who Jerry is and the fact that is a goal of mine today is disturbing.)) So, I decided to shave my head and end Jerry's life in one fell swoop instead of chemo taking its toll on them. It was too much to bare and I couldn't put Jerry through. He'd hung with me for 3 months. He was almost a part of me (technically I guess he was...) So we shaved everything except for a nice molester mustache because when you're shaving everything on your head, you're not not gonna leave a creepy mustache on and rock it

So I got to generally creep Susan out for almost a week and it was fun asking all my friends when they saw me for the 1st time, if they wanted to go hang out at Chuck E. Cheese. They thought I was creepy & all I wanted to do was play some skee-ball. Anyways, this is something else I'll have to get used to, but other than some normal side effects last week (my white blood cell count got wiped out (which is normal) so I couldn't go anywhere or be near children or cats (seriously, this is what my doctor told me. Further confirming that Dogs are better pets and cats are gross.) So anyways, I missed a wedding (Sorry Dave & Ali, but Congrats still) and sat around all week). All in all, a little hair loss never hurt anyone and it could be worse. I could be short. Like we're talking midget short. There's no cure for that, especially the cabbage smell of your fingers...so be thankful!!