Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Steroids and Corn Dogs

What were you doing at 10:30am today??? Most of you were probably completing some task at your job or doing your best to stay occupied with things other than your job. Maybe some of you hit up reverse happy hour at Kona Grill (I have no clue how I know its on Wednesday Nights) and never made it to work. Still yet, I doubt any of you were polishing off your 4th corn dog. I was, and that is the beauty of getting a nice dose of steroids every week. Sadly, I had hoped that they would result in a svelte figure complete with 6 pack abs (not really, but the alternative of seeing how many corn dogs I can eat isn't exactly ideal either...) Why just as I'm sitting here writing this, there are at least 4 bread sticks from dinner that I'm considering eating as well as the box of truffles that our friends Jodie and Grant sent today that have managed to make their way to my side. Seriously, I've never experienced an appetite like this. Susan has often been impressed (more likely repulsed) by my ability to inhale food, but we are at extraordinary levels here.
It's just another one of those little things that you have to get used to. I've talked about the cravings and they are still going strong. They make you think about things in a different way, too. We hit up Taco Bell yesterday and as we sat in the drive thru, I saw that you can buy a dozen tacos in one box. I'm sure they market these to people who are feeding entire offices at lunch or maybe for a group of people eating together. I calmly looked at them and thought, "I could fucking take down that entire box." I think I could too, I just don't want the indigestion that goes along with that victory. The nausea (this word has now reached, "Kevin can spell it flawlessly w/out thinking about it" status) is bad enough, I don't need that on top of indigestion as well as the shame of having to ask for enough fire sauce to coat 12 tacos...

Update: I went and got 2 of the bread sticks halfway through writing this. There's a small bit of shame in telling you this, not a lot, not "I ate 12 tacos" level shame, but still a little...

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