Poiltically Incorrect Blog Post #1

Simply because I'm someone who usually will make fun of anything, I chose to do the very first translation blog. We have two Asian gentlemen in here who are speaking their native language quite loudly, and I have no clue what they're saying, but that won't stop me from writing what I think they're saying as the nurse counsels them on the chemo treatments. I know, I know...I'm a horrible person, but so are you because you'll laugh at it too. On the left is a paraphrasing of what the nurse says and then my thought of the translation that occurs??

Drink lots of water = This nurse said to drink two gallons of water a day. This bitch is crazy. Maybe we'll just get you some sake. we rove sake.

do you eat a lot of raw vegetables and fruit = is she serious? does she think that we all eat vegetables and raw fish. is she really that dumb? She should know that I love tacos as much as the next person. Who doesn't love a good taco. pork, onion, cirantro on a corn tortirra? Hell yes I'll have that.

while you're on chemo, its normal to feel tired = don't think for a second that just because you have cancer that you can get out of work. you may be tired, but our nail salon will not run itself. You'll do manicures and pedicures and you'll like it. capiche??

really watch your hands and feet = this crazy rady just said to put rotion on your hands and feet. Rike we don't know about moisturizing feet and hands.

Here's a DVD in English, never mind you probably don't want that = no kidding she just said that. while it is a true statement, i cannot translate because I'm trying to keep from losing it over here. The Asian guy just stared at her.

you may have diarrhea with this drug = you will feel like you ate some spicy, spicy, Thai food

the guy translating seriously just told the nurse that the chemo patient had to help him work, no excuses. we all just stared. then he said everyone in the temple had to carry their weight. I think their monks now or maybe ninjas. I hope they don't think I'm making fun of them. although death by ninja would be better than death by pretty much anything else. its honorable!

Guy just said there's a big event coming up at the temple. I automatically assume this is a bloodsport competition with Jean Claude VanDamme. If its not, then my week is ruined.

That's about all the fake translating I can handle today. Plus the last 3 statements have been about avoiding diarrhea. I don't wanna listen to one sided poop conversations. No one does!